The opaque mind of the muzak DJ

Can someone please tell me what the hell “Greensleeves” has to do with Christmas? ‘Cause so far at work, I’ve heard bossa nova, mariachi, and smooth jazz versions, among others that I may have forgotten about.

UPDATE: Sometimes my readers stop me in the street and ask, “Steve, in your experience, when arranging a performance of ‘God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,’ does it improve that performance to include electric slap-bass?”

Reader, it does not.

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4 thoughts on “The opaque mind of the muzak DJ

  1. Nicole

    Same melody line as “What Child is This.” But I mean either way, they ought to mix it up a little more.

  2. pedro

    This one time, I stopped Steve in the street to ask him a question and he was all like “No. Too busy.” But apparently, other readers get their questions answered.

    I see how it is, Steve. I see how it is.

  3. Steve

    I apologize if I ever gave the impression that I’m busy. This is almost never the case.

    If it makes you feel any better, the readers I actually answer exist only in my head.

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