Oh, that’s just beautiful

Keith Ellison just got elected to the House of Representatives from the 5th District in Minnesota. This is a bit of a milestone, because he’s the first Muslim ever to be elected to Congress. As he is a Muslim, he’s decided to be sworn into to office on the Q’uran. This is mostly a symbolic decision, because the official swearing-in takes place with the new Representatives doing it all at once in the same room, with no religious texts involved. But individual reps will then often have private swearing-in ceremonies as well, which are good for photo ops and stuff.

Anyway, Representative-elect Ellison’s decision to be sworn in on the Q’uran had prompted the usual shitbaggery from the America for Americans crowd.

First, Dennis Prager:

Forgive me, but America should not give a hoot what Keith Ellison’s favorite book is. Insofar as a member of Congress taking an oath to serve America and uphold its values is concerned, America is interested in only one book, the Bible. If you are incapable of taking an oath on that book, don’t serve in Congress. In your personal life, we will fight for your right to prefer any other book. We will even fight for your right to publish cartoons mocking our Bible. But, Mr. Ellison, America, not you, decides on what book its public servants take their oath.

Devotees of multiculturalism and political correctness who do not see how damaging to the fabric of American civilization it is to allow Ellison to choose his own book need only imagine a racist elected to Congress. Would they allow him to choose Hitler’s “Mein Kampf,” the Nazis’ bible, for his oath? And if not, why not? On what grounds will those defending Ellison’s right to choose his favorite book deny that same right to a racist who is elected to public office?

Oh, you read that right. Advocates a religious test for office holders, and compares the Q’uran to Mein Kampf. Awesome. Thanks for defending America, Dennis, and making it safe for adherents to the religious text that includes the story of Lot.

Shitbag number two is Glenn Beck, who, I must note because I am nothing if not fair to the boorishly anencephalic, made these comments before the whole Q’uran thing:

BECK: OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I’ve been to mosques. I really don’t believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I — you know, I think it’s being hijacked, quite frankly.

With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, “Let’s cut and run.” And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, “Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.”

And I know you’re not. I’m not accusing you of being an enemy, but that’s the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.

ELLISON: Well, let me tell you, the people of the Fifth Congressional District know that I have a deep love and affection for my country. There’s no one who is more patriotic than I am. And so, you know, I don’t need to — need to prove my patriotic stripes.

Watch the video. Ellison laughs it off, and is far more gracious than I think I’d have been able to be. “I’m not accusing you of being an enemy, but, y’know, prove it.”

Third, Congressman Virgil Goode, Democrat of Virginia (nah, I’m just playing, of course he’s a Republican):

Dear Mr. Cruickshank:

Thank you for your recent communication. When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way. The Muslim Representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don’t wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran. We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country. I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped.

The Ten Commandments and “In God We Trust” are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Koran. My response was clear, “As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, The Koran is not going to be on the wall of my office.” Thank you again for your email and thoughts.

Sincerely yours,
Virgil H. Goode, Jr.
70 East Court Street
Suite 215
Rocky Mount, Virginia 24151

Immigrants? Clinton? Worry about precious bodily fluids resources? It’s like he’s got a checklist.

Okay, so, in the face of all that disingenuous bigotry and gratuitous xenophobia, it comes to pass that Keith Ellison will, nonetheless, indeed use a Q’uran for his swearing-in photo op.

Thomas Jefferson’s Q’uran.

What's my name?

God bless America.


13 thoughts on “Oh, that’s just beautiful

  1. Steve

    Thomas Jefferson barely misses GOAT status, as he has never demanded “broadswords in a pit” as the terms of a duel. Abraham Lincoln is thus Superman in the Presidential Justice League, but Thomas Jefferson is like at least Batman.

  2. Steve

    ‘Cause, y’know, I’m just saying, for my international readers who may not know, Abraham Lincoln wasn’t just all about the Conan shit. There was some substance there.

  3. Ananth

    How can you make a statement that somehow subjegates Batman’s status in the Justice League to some second fiddle to the big blue boy scout? Did you forget the Justice League Batman is a founding member for two reasons
    1) He is the world’s biggest smarty pants
    2) Everyone is (rightfully) afraid of him, because when push comes to shove he has a plan to take them all out, just in case.

    Sir, retract your blashepmous statement and acknowledge thy lord batman

    more relevent, Dennis Prager is an idiot. When I become President I will swear myself in on the Bhadvagita or the Kama Sutra.

    Also, big hat tip to Ellison, that was some nice political jujitsu.

  4. Steve

    Hey, Batman’s the shit; I’m not about to contest that.

    In fact, I think Lincoln would be Batman, and George Washington would have to be Superman. It just fits better. Which would make Thomas Jefferson… I’m saying Martian Manhunter, but I’m open to being convinced of either Green Lantern or Wonder Woman.

    The upshot to this, of course, is that the answer to any “Who would win in a fight…?” scenario is “Abraham Lincoln, if he has time to prepare.” Which seems right to me.

  5. Ananth

    No I think Martain Manhunter works the best. He arguably as smart as Batman and as Powerful as Superman, yet he is often overlooked in his shear level of ass kicking.

  6. Eric

    Jefferson’s definitely Batman. Lincoln’s the goofy lookin guy who can still whoop ass (I’m just going to assume for the sake of argument that martian manhunter can whoop ass since frankly I’ve never seen him do anything). Jefferson’s the jack of all trades tinkerer bad-ass.

    See if this makes sense. Upon meeting a bunch of Nobel Prize winners Kennedy remarks: “this is the greatest collection of talent and smarts ever assembled here, except when Batman dines alone”

  7. Ananth

    now that is the kind of batman fearing respect that I admire.

    But for the Record, J’onn J’onzz can kick some major ass. One time, he went bad because of some weird thing about white martians, and he nearly ended the world.

  8. Steve

    Does a White Martian have Goldschlager in it, instead of vodka?

    Jesus, I just threw up a little. Maybe that’s why white Martians must be defeated at all costs?

Comments are closed.