This morning I read that the Senate has voted to make English the official language of the United States.Â Apparently there’s suddenly such a crisis in
Republican poll numbers immigration that we need an official language for the first time in our nation’s history.Â James Inhofe, rock-stupid Senator from Oklahoma, was the sponsor, and the last two paragraphs of the article include this parade of assholery:
“As we debate how to assimilate [illegal immigrants], we need to make clear that it is the policy of our government to enhance our common language â€” English,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.). “That is a good thing to say because when the demonstrators are in the streets and waving the Mexican flag, some of us have to respond to that.”
In other action on the bill, the Senate voted to require illegal immigrants who apply for citizenship to pay a $750 fee. The amendment’s sponsor, Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas), said the money would help reimburse state and local governments, hospitals and institutions that provide health, education and services to illegal immigrants.
This country’s got a fever, and the only prescription is a permanent underclass!Â We know that people aren’t going to stop coming to this country for a better life, laws or no laws, because there will always be employers willing to pay their low, low wages.Â So then what we want is ghettos full of immigrants of dubious legal status who don’t feel invested in the U.S. because they’re not allowed to participate in in it.Â Why, look at France!Â It’s just one fucking giant, hand-holding Coca-Cola commercial over there, and I’m sure it’ll work just as well for us.
And what kind of dick gets a crippling case of the vapors when they see someone wave the flag of another country?*Â Don’t leave your house during the World Cup this summer, Senator Graham, or you might seize up on the spot.
*(Yeah, I know: a dick who needs the racist asshole vote to be reelected.)